Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
