sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
