You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
