Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
