Dude my mom stole all your condoms
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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