Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She bit a glass in half.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
