Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
