you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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