i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize