Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
