Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
