a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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