im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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