how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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