i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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