Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
