so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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