they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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