Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
