a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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