There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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