Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
