If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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