This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
