Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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