she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
