i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just pee around me
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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