Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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