it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
