you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
