Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
