i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
