he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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