What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
