who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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