I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
