Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
