with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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