How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You're like the curious george of whores
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
