Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
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