I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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