I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
