I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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