Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
