This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
