dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
