He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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