Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
