I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
