My nipple is on Facebook.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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