did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
