Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm gonna fight the coyote
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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