Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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