He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
i now understand why vodka
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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