Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
