i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
