Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
