1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
