My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
