Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
