Please, let me fuck your mom
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
