The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize