Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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