hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He shit in the fireplace
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
